Entry1

Yes, I do call Teddy "Daddy". Now many of you are thinking "that means Riccy is more that just a "friend" to Teddy" And you are correct! I use the term "daddy" out of respect towards him. Semen donors are fathers. Men that listen out of caring, advise from experience, and love unconditionally are called "daddy". Yes, i had a biological father. I was not a test tube baby. My parents did it the old fashioned way (which as a gay male gives me the creeps). For reasons I won't mention, after the age of 6 I was raised by my grandparents, who I always refer to as mom and dad. Dad was an amazing man. He always made me proud to be his "son". Every year we would go to baseball games together, hockey games, camping, fishing, etc. He never introduced me as his grandson, always as his son. Dad also never let my deafness be anything more than a hurdle. If I was upset and saying I can't, he would show me how I can. And eventually I would.
On August 14, 2006 mom and dad were planning a family party for my birthday. We are all very close with my brothers and sister and their families, and any occasion to get together was welcome. They ll know I am gay, and nobody in my family has ever been less that supportive of me regarding my sexuality. When I came out at 17, mom said she knew already. Dad wasn't ecstatic, but he never stopped loving me or being dad.
Anyway, on August 14 dad and I were cutting the lawn and raking. I looked over for no good reason, and dad had stopped, he was holding his chest. He died in my arms.
The reason I told you this is because after that day, I never felt like I could love. People you love go away, as my biological parents did years ago and now dad.
So----- fast forward to 2007. I met Teddy "daddy". Everything about how he talked to me reminded me of my dad. If i was upset, he listened. If I was happy, he shared my joy. If I was sad, he offered words to comfort me. And just like my dad, daddy always tries to make me think things thru for myself, but guides me when he sees my frustrations. I even asked him what I should do when Jeremy met me and wanted to go out with me. Thank God he said--follow your heart.
So now the world knows why I call Teddy "daddy" and always will. I love you Daddy, and I am sure you are hoping the rest of my blogs are a bit less wordy! hehe